who make me happy!
So, today, there is a kitchen sink and until about 3 p.m. there was no faucet. I ended up doing 2 batches of dishes because there hasn't been a faucet since Thursday. (I am now with faucet thanks to Curt and his Dremel) Thank You Honey-buns. ANYWAY! Construction on the house was on my mind as well as thinking about some of my friends.
As for my friends, I LOVE watching people and how they interact with each other. I has been a people watcher for most of my life. I sometimes see things in friends that I admire, and sometimes I see attributes, that I have to ask myself "Oh, no, do I do that?" I can tell you more about some people than they can tell you about themselves... But, they make me a better person.
I think it is funny that my friends from my childhood are still my best friends and we call each other about once a month and see each other just as often. I ran into one of them last night at "RA" and was thrilled to see her. My other best friend is from college and called my the other night because she met a boy! I have such loving feelings for them and keep them in my prayers nightly. When they hurt, I hurt. When they tell me their troubles there is no "Glad it's you, not me" and I love these women dearly. If they needed my kidney, I'd be there! If they needed my heart, they already have it.
But on the whole, I like most of my aquaintance/friends. Some of them I wish thought of me as much as I pray and think on their trials, hardships and joy! I would like to be closer to them, but feel as though they judge me based on the fact that I don't have a house just a townhome, that I had to work for so many years, and 2 kids are older than theirs, even though Hayden is the same age. I just feel judged! I offer to be the first that they call when they need me to help with something, and feel that I get forgotten in return, other than when help is wanted.
I guess that I am like every human being when I find out that someone has thrown a party and I haven't been invited that I kind of throw myself into an everyboy-hates-me kind of funk or a I-thought-I-was-a-better-friend-then-so-and-so kind of attitude. I had my feelings hurt when I found out a friend had BBQ'd and it seemed that everyone was invited but me and my family. We don't get invited to a lot of things, so that when I found this out, it really hurt my feelings. I sat there thinking that there is something wrong with me and my family. Then gave that friend some doubt. I know that they can't invite everyone... It would just be nice to be invited sometimes.
Some of the time it's more of the fact that I worked for so many years while some of my friend's groups were formed that I feel like I am forgotten.
I went from working in an office where there are 50+ adults to an awesomely onery, shock-blond haired kid and it has been a hard adjustment! Friends have made the difference in me learning how to be a good mom and how to raise (correct in the case of Aaron and Alyssa) my children.
I love when people call, stop by, or acknowledge that I am a person that exists. I love to be invited anywhere even when I can't make it, the thought matters more than anyone will ever know.
Crazy Life and Lovin' it!
13 years ago
5 comments:
I know how you feel. I'm sorry I've been such a crappy friend. I will try to do better. I know how you feel about not being invited, I feel that way often.
Darling Shellee, I think we all kind of go through that sometimes. I mean, not in a you're-just-like-everyone-else-so-get-over-it kind of way. I mean, I am gathering that Geniel is saying that she feels that way and I feel that way... so I assumed that a lot of the people who really care about you have moments when they feel like they just don't fit. I had a random conversation about food and different ways to make sopaipillas was among the main topics. It was with a sister who is from Argentina who also serves in the primary. In the long-and-short of it the conversation has no real purpose, but I was so delighted that somebody wanted to talk to ME. I don't get called practically ever. Wait. Make that never. If you view the incoming calls on my cell phone you will see: Manuel, Seba (Manuel calling from his best friend's cell), my boss, and wrong numbers. *sigh* So... I know what you mean with the "what's wrong with me" thinking. But you know... it isn't that there is anything at all wrong with you. If I had a bbq (corn on the cob and potatoes, of course) I would totally invite you. Of course, I would understand if you couldn't come. =)
I know how you feel. We hardly ever invited people to our home when we lived in AZ because it was so small, but now that our home is larger we seem to be the inviters but hardly ever invited. I don't know if it's because we have more than one kid or we aren't as likeable as we thought. It does hurt when you find out others had fun together and left you out. I wish I had words of encouragement, but I haven't figured it out myself yet. Just know that you are a wonderful and fun person and they are the ones missing out.
Thanks, for comments. You guys ARE the friends I really like.
Geniel, you've always been a good friend.
Karla, I would try to make it to a BBQ that you throw, Chile is a bit far, though
Crystal, I think you are very likeable! If you figure it out, let me know, and I'll do likewise.
I also know how you feel. You are a good friend, and I am glad I found you again.
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