Pioneers, gratitude and other wishes.

I am so grateful for the pioneers. I am grateful that they went through all of the trials they endured. I am happy that someday, I will get to thank them in person and hug them all. I love my ancestors for being who they were and writing it all down for us to read and grow from. I am sorry that they didn't have computers, but then again they didn't have all of the problems that go with computers. No child predators, no childproofing software, no online stalkers, etc.
I am grateful for the pioneers that crossed the plains in wagons, who gave birth in the snow and watched their children, babies, siblings, and parents pass from this life. I know these stories and feel that they make me want to endure all of the tribulations that my Heavenly Father wants to throw my direction. My parents are alive, my children, and siblings are here and I am all the more grateful for them.
I am also grateful for people around me who have goals. I try to have them, but sometimes they get lost in the "action" stage of the goal-achieving arena. I want to be the "hot" wife, but I am more than happy to relinquish that to other women. What my husband thinks about me is all that matters in the "hot wife" area. I just settle for being happy with my figure (robust though it may be) and healthy. But for those that can accomplish goals, I like to hear about them, how they got accomplished and I like to find that little bit if inspiration to push me a little.
I would like to be the perfect wife and mom, you know, the one who is always patient and calm... But that it just not who I am. Silence drives me crazy, music makes me happy and calling my friends to chat for a few hours or going to hang out at their home is my joy in life.
I want to be the perfect homemaker, but alas, this is not an easy thing... I enjoy organized chaos and suffer from CHAOS ( Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). But when my kids have friends over, they like the fact that if they make a mess, I am not going to freak out. I just have them clean it up before they take off. I love my children's friends, they make me happy. I love when they ask me to play with them: baseball, shooting pellet guns, even Barbies! ( I just don't like being the boy doll.) I get the dishes done, and try to keep the front room clean and vaccuumed. Sometimes, I throw it off to play with the kids or to help out a friend, but I sill try. My mom goal is to have happy children and if that means deciding to play the DS with Aaron rather than mopping the kitchen, I will take that anyday.

Pollyanna

I really hope that a lot of people know who Pollyanna is. I love Hayley Mills as Pollyanna. If you haven't seen the movie, you must leave your computer and rent it right NOW! I have been accused of having a "Pollyanna Complex" because I like to look at the positive parts of a trial rather than focus on the things that are sad, hard and out of my hands.
One of my surgeries was a blighted ovum (a baby that never formed) and so rather than think of the child that wasn't to be, I thought of the great marvels of anesthesia and the fact that I could take a 3 hour vacation from the cares of the world and everyone would worry about me (that was selfish, I know) and the wonders of Heavenly Father that he would bless me with the knowledge that I could still get pregnant without infertility treatments, he was just letting me know that my "girlie parts" still work. I think that my trials have made me stronger in someway, but because of the way I look at them, I have a hard time understanding how others tackle the same problem. There is a definate difference in understanding someone elses trials (I HATE when people say that they "understand" my burdens) and being understanding and compassionate.
My sis in law's mother just passed away, and I think that to say to her that I "understand" what she is going through is a lie, I can't! My mom is alive and kicking and a 15 minute drive away! I can tell her that I really liked her mom and she was awesome to be around, she always had a smile on her face and was a great attitude! What an example to those around her. Right now may be hard, but think of the day when you get to see her again after such a long vacation! Heavenly Father doesn't leave his children stranded, that's where families and the Holy Ghost come in. All you have to do is ask for comfort from them, and WHAM! it's there! Trials... I take comfort in mine, for they are and always will be part of who I am.