Poo Paranoid

I had a great Sunday until Curtis came into me while I was playing the piano.  He came up with Hayden and turned him around.  Ugh.  POOP!    It was up the front, up the back and out the legs.  Holy Cow!  Did he save this up until he just couldn't hold it in anymore and then decide that he would impress his friends with how much he could produce?   It was pretty funny though, because Curt is a self-admitted "Poo Paranoid".  He can't handle it in the slightest.   I should get a video of this.  It's hilarious.  
What was funnier, was that as we were getting ready to leave church, Curt's Home Teaching Companion came over and told Curt that he had set up visits for 12:30 (we get out at 12).    He was so nauseous that he couldn't handle it anymore.  He freaked, I had to explain to Mike that Curt has this condition.  Mike called it a "Poophobia".  It's really hard not to laugh when Curt freaks over something like this.   He couldn't wait for Mike to come get him for the appointments to get him away from the mess and the smell.  I don't mind poop, I just get over it, it's part of being a Mom.  (But, even I almost lost it when I was showering the boy down.)

A "weighty" issue.

Alright, ladies. Here's the lowdown.

I'm FAT!  (Usually this is the "F" word in our home, but I'll excuse it just this once.)

Little Old Ladies (LOLs) in the corner: (What?!?!?  Can you believe she just said that? She's not fat. Well, yeah, she kind of is, but that's rude to tell her.  Quick, let's find something nice to say about her...)

What?

No, really... I'm a big gal!

LOLs: ( She really needs to quit saying that!  Doesn't she understand that she's just "a little pooch-y".  Her tummy's not that big.  I've seen bigger.)

What I think that people don't understand the relationship I have with my overburdened scale:

* I have been dealing with my weight for most...um... ALL of my life.

* I was a size 8 jean in high school, but because of my "busty" nature, I had to wear a size 12-14 on the top. I was still told I was fat because of this.  I always had my mom make my formal dresses because I didn't fit right into store bought ones.

* Boys always liked my "busty" nature and it's been hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak... until Curt.  It's a fringe benefit to him.

* No matter what I do, I am going to get this weight off, but it's going to be by my own hard work and effort. I put it on pound by pound, and that's how it'll be coming off.

* Gastric Bypass isn't for me (it's been great for others and I applaude them, because that's hard too!), LapBand might be, but let's try the other way first.  I've done it before. I can do it again.

* I have a hard time running... because of said busty-nature. I bounce, nay, I "super-bounce" ( I deserve a cape or something). Therefore, I don't usually run in public. Maybe someday they will make a really great bra for me.

* I have back problems because of the "Bouncy Area".  My chiropractor and I are working this out.  Thanks Dr. Judge.

* I have a 20 yr reunion in 3 years. I want to be unrecognizable. (That's a word, right?)  You know, "who's that with Curt, she looks a little familiar."

* Curt says that I am a "potato with toothpicks". This doesn't hurt my feelings. He loves my toothpicks.  It's my potato that needs trimming.

* I love food. It's what makes me awesome. Will I lose my awesome-ness when I can't love it as much as I do now?

* I have always been jealous of women with a waist, smaller chest (C-D would be nice), and can wear jeans without the extra fabric hanging around their thighs.  Jeans that are built for women with thighs + mine are indented = a lot of hanging jeans material = looks weird.

* I hate shopping. I can dress others but I can't dress myself. If I ask you to go shopping with me, please be honest. I don't want to think I look great while everyone is asking, "What was she thinking, going out in public looking like THAT!"

* I don't wear stripes... of ANY kind. Fat and Animal Prints don't mix either.

SO... in honor of going private, I am going to have some updates of how my weight loss journey is going, right over there, on the side.

I am off the hormones, for now, and so I have no reason to not lose. 
Old Gym Mantra, "Why am I doing this, when the numbers won't change?"
New Gym Mantra, "Let's get these numbers movin' down!"

I had a wonderful woman tell me that the best thing for a diet is to start it with a fast. I think Heavenly Father cares about my weight and my health. It will help me be a better mother, wife and friend.

Most of all, I'm doing this for me. Not Curt, the kids, my family, or even my friends. Just me. Because I love me, BUT I just want to love a-little-less of me.

I need a little privacy, please.

I know... I've decided to go private with this page because of the remarks (not comments people have posted) that I have gotten.

This page was supposed to be meant for me to vent, think, and hopefully let people in on how I think. I have been told too many times that I am complicated to get to know. I don't think I am, but I am opinionated. It's been more of a "Brer Rabbit Thinking Spot".

If you want access to this page, leave a comment or email me.

I'll be going private on Sept 7th.