A "weighty" issue.

Alright, ladies. Here's the lowdown.

I'm FAT!  (Usually this is the "F" word in our home, but I'll excuse it just this once.)

Little Old Ladies (LOLs) in the corner: (What?!?!?  Can you believe she just said that? She's not fat. Well, yeah, she kind of is, but that's rude to tell her.  Quick, let's find something nice to say about her...)

What?

No, really... I'm a big gal!

LOLs: ( She really needs to quit saying that!  Doesn't she understand that she's just "a little pooch-y".  Her tummy's not that big.  I've seen bigger.)

What I think that people don't understand the relationship I have with my overburdened scale:

* I have been dealing with my weight for most...um... ALL of my life.

* I was a size 8 jean in high school, but because of my "busty" nature, I had to wear a size 12-14 on the top. I was still told I was fat because of this.  I always had my mom make my formal dresses because I didn't fit right into store bought ones.

* Boys always liked my "busty" nature and it's been hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak... until Curt.  It's a fringe benefit to him.

* No matter what I do, I am going to get this weight off, but it's going to be by my own hard work and effort. I put it on pound by pound, and that's how it'll be coming off.

* Gastric Bypass isn't for me (it's been great for others and I applaude them, because that's hard too!), LapBand might be, but let's try the other way first.  I've done it before. I can do it again.

* I have a hard time running... because of said busty-nature. I bounce, nay, I "super-bounce" ( I deserve a cape or something). Therefore, I don't usually run in public. Maybe someday they will make a really great bra for me.

* I have back problems because of the "Bouncy Area".  My chiropractor and I are working this out.  Thanks Dr. Judge.

* I have a 20 yr reunion in 3 years. I want to be unrecognizable. (That's a word, right?)  You know, "who's that with Curt, she looks a little familiar."

* Curt says that I am a "potato with toothpicks". This doesn't hurt my feelings. He loves my toothpicks.  It's my potato that needs trimming.

* I love food. It's what makes me awesome. Will I lose my awesome-ness when I can't love it as much as I do now?

* I have always been jealous of women with a waist, smaller chest (C-D would be nice), and can wear jeans without the extra fabric hanging around their thighs.  Jeans that are built for women with thighs + mine are indented = a lot of hanging jeans material = looks weird.

* I hate shopping. I can dress others but I can't dress myself. If I ask you to go shopping with me, please be honest. I don't want to think I look great while everyone is asking, "What was she thinking, going out in public looking like THAT!"

* I don't wear stripes... of ANY kind. Fat and Animal Prints don't mix either.

SO... in honor of going private, I am going to have some updates of how my weight loss journey is going, right over there, on the side.

I am off the hormones, for now, and so I have no reason to not lose. 
Old Gym Mantra, "Why am I doing this, when the numbers won't change?"
New Gym Mantra, "Let's get these numbers movin' down!"

I had a wonderful woman tell me that the best thing for a diet is to start it with a fast. I think Heavenly Father cares about my weight and my health. It will help me be a better mother, wife and friend.

Most of all, I'm doing this for me. Not Curt, the kids, my family, or even my friends. Just me. Because I love me, BUT I just want to love a-little-less of me.

I need a little privacy, please.

I know... I've decided to go private with this page because of the remarks (not comments people have posted) that I have gotten.

This page was supposed to be meant for me to vent, think, and hopefully let people in on how I think. I have been told too many times that I am complicated to get to know. I don't think I am, but I am opinionated. It's been more of a "Brer Rabbit Thinking Spot".

If you want access to this page, leave a comment or email me.

I'll be going private on Sept 7th.

Nothing to talk about.

I wish that I could decipher DNA and know if it has anything to do with behavior..

My dear daughter came home from school yesterday (yes, the first day) with a stomach ache and a headache. I know that some kids are excited for school to start and some have problems with anxiety. My girl is the latter of the two, while her older brother tends to be part of the excited group.

I wish I knew if this was something that she inherited... and this is why. When Curt was a kindergartner, his teacher thought there was something wrong with him. She called his mother in to ask if he knew how to talk. Curt's Mom (S) thought this was a little funny, because, OF COURSE he knew how to talk. He was actually a very bright kid, got pretty good grades. When S asked Curt why he didn't talk in class, he just said that he didn' t have anything to say. He still doesn't have much to say (unless it's about RC airplanes).

Now, onto the girl. So... she's been given the title of "Quietest Girl in Class" for 3 years running. When I ask her why she doesn't talk, the response is normally a shoulder shrug. Last year, one of the reasons her teacher didn't want her to move on from 4th grade was because Alyssa never talked in class. (the other reason was because she has bad handwriting.) The one time that she did talk, was to correct her teacher to tell her that what she was talking about was not a trapezoid, but a parallelogram. Now, I would think that the teacher would call me about my daughter talking too much in class but to call me in because she doesn't talk, you would think that she'd be happy about this.

Alyssa does in fact know how to talk, she's very good at it and there are sometimes that we can't get her to be quiet, but teachers intimidate her. Her first grade teacher was not a very nice person (she's happily retired) and kind-of picked on her. She would often withhold recess time because Alyssa had been chewing on her eraser, so she became intimidated by teachers. She just quit talking.

I wonder if a lot of this has to do with DNA because the man and the girl are so similar in looks and personality. Aaron inherited a lot of my looks, but also my personality and isn't afraid of much. We'll see what happens with Hayden.

I love them all and still wouldn't trade them for the world.