I need a little privacy, please.

I know... I've decided to go private with this page because of the remarks (not comments people have posted) that I have gotten.

This page was supposed to be meant for me to vent, think, and hopefully let people in on how I think. I have been told too many times that I am complicated to get to know. I don't think I am, but I am opinionated. It's been more of a "Brer Rabbit Thinking Spot".

If you want access to this page, leave a comment or email me.

I'll be going private on Sept 7th.

Nothing to talk about.

I wish that I could decipher DNA and know if it has anything to do with behavior..

My dear daughter came home from school yesterday (yes, the first day) with a stomach ache and a headache. I know that some kids are excited for school to start and some have problems with anxiety. My girl is the latter of the two, while her older brother tends to be part of the excited group.

I wish I knew if this was something that she inherited... and this is why. When Curt was a kindergartner, his teacher thought there was something wrong with him. She called his mother in to ask if he knew how to talk. Curt's Mom (S) thought this was a little funny, because, OF COURSE he knew how to talk. He was actually a very bright kid, got pretty good grades. When S asked Curt why he didn't talk in class, he just said that he didn' t have anything to say. He still doesn't have much to say (unless it's about RC airplanes).

Now, onto the girl. So... she's been given the title of "Quietest Girl in Class" for 3 years running. When I ask her why she doesn't talk, the response is normally a shoulder shrug. Last year, one of the reasons her teacher didn't want her to move on from 4th grade was because Alyssa never talked in class. (the other reason was because she has bad handwriting.) The one time that she did talk, was to correct her teacher to tell her that what she was talking about was not a trapezoid, but a parallelogram. Now, I would think that the teacher would call me about my daughter talking too much in class but to call me in because she doesn't talk, you would think that she'd be happy about this.

Alyssa does in fact know how to talk, she's very good at it and there are sometimes that we can't get her to be quiet, but teachers intimidate her. Her first grade teacher was not a very nice person (she's happily retired) and kind-of picked on her. She would often withhold recess time because Alyssa had been chewing on her eraser, so she became intimidated by teachers. She just quit talking.

I wonder if a lot of this has to do with DNA because the man and the girl are so similar in looks and personality. Aaron inherited a lot of my looks, but also my personality and isn't afraid of much. We'll see what happens with Hayden.

I love them all and still wouldn't trade them for the world.

No need for cheese...

because there is no "whine" in the post.

Curt and I were talking about the ward and how hard it is to really put ourselves out there and get to know people.

We were talking about this and it suddenly occured to me that we are on the other end of the rainbow from where we were when Aaron was born. We have been here for 11years and living in a "transitional" ward is very challenging. For a person with older children and a 2 yr.old; being in a "newlywed, nearly dead, and bottle-fed" ward it's hard.

Here's the story ***bling*** I was pregnant with Aaron after SO long of trying to concieve. I was on the enrichment commitee, I did all the decorating, most of the cooking and always had a hand in the planning so that things went smoothly. and so the ladies in Relief Society knew who I was. I didn't have many friends even though we had lived there for 6 months. The bishop didn't even know our names even though we were active and went to every activity they had. Then, I had Aaron. I called my Visiting Teachers, the RS President and the bishop and our home teachers to tell them that Aaron had been born. We were so excited. We brought him home and 2 days later had to take him back for Jaundice. I was back a forth from the hospital (NICU) for 3 days. For mothers who've had to take their children back, you understand that this is hard, especially for first time moms. I had called the RS President to tell her that we would need help with dinners. I never got a call back... from anyone. I went to church with Aaron a week later and no one cared. A few WEEKS later, the RS President called to ask if they could come by to see me. They walked in, sat down and told me that they were just checking up on me to see if I needed anything. They were there for maybe 5 minutes and then had the audacity to tell me that they had to go take dinner to another lady in the ward who had just had a baby and came home from the hospital that day. They quickly got up and left. I was stunned.
I asked the RS compassionate service coordinator what happened, and she said she never even knew I had a baby. She also told me that probably the reason we didn't get help, was because we lived in apartments. She was my only friend in the ward and she told me that since we didn't live in a house, we would probably move in the next year and so they didn't want to invest the time and effort for making us feel welcome in the ward.

*** bling***

Curt and I have come to realize that one of the wonderful things, although frustrating, is that there are so many people coming and going in this ward, we try to make that investment. I have met some really great people who had been here for ONLY a year. We have made lasting friendships and even though they aren't here living by us, I remember things they've said to me. They have helped me through trials that they aren't even aware of.

I have come to realize that "cliques" happen. I have never liked them, but I think a lot of it is because I don't believe in just sticking to one friend. I have different friends for different areas of my life. I have never been one to stick in a group. I try to be friends with everyone and try to find those who sometimes get left behind. I hope that I have helped these people as much as they have helped me.
I have one wonderful gal that will call me when there is an awesome class at the gym and I feel really bad that I've been sick or the timing just hasn't worked out to go with her.
I have another friend that invited me to do things with her, but unfortunately it's on a day that I don't have the car. I just need to plan ahead, and she's spontaneous, which is one of the best things about her!
Also in the ward is someone that when I find out she's teaching Relief Society I try to come because she's one of the smartest people I know and I learn SO much from her. She's straightforward about her opinions, but lets her life be led by the Spirit.

As I looked around the ward, I realized that I do have "warm-fuzzies" for some of the women of the ward. I have these same feelings for many women who have already moved out of the ward. Others that I didn't see today, I was sad, I missed giving them a hug. (I hug them because I know we BOTH need it.) I have ward women that I really only get a chance to chat with on Facebook or through their blogs, but love them just the same. I do look for them in Sacrament meeting. I love their children whom I see in Primary.

As I listened to the talks today, I was knocked back a little as I realized a few things. Am I treating some of these people like they aren't worth the "year-long" investment? I sure hope not. Therefore, I am setting a goal to look for people I don't know and to try to get to know them, even if they are here for a little while.