I choose for things to be better.

It seems as though sometimes...just sometimes things go my way. Lately, I have tried really hard to have peace in my life and "chose the better part". I have started to let things go... in a good way. I was reading an article by David A Bednar called "And nothing shall offend them" and was reminded of how life is supposed to be.

I really enjoyed this talk. I have been offended by some people lately and decided that I was going to make an effort to forgive the offense as it happens.



My mother has said to me in the past that when I get mad, that's when she knows that I need a nap. She told me that she has never known me to hold a grudge after I woke up from sleeping. It's true, but I have gotten away from that. I have had some conversations lately where I have realized that I was offended and the offender had no idea (which is what happens most of the time).
I started thinking in the "I can't believe that they...", which is a judgemental start and no good can follow that phrase.

Such is the case with Mom's Group, I was so excited to have the moms in the ward over to go swimming... and one person came (Thanks, Kendra!). I decided that no matter how many people came, I was going to have fun. So, Kendra, Hayden, Carson and I went swimming; and I had fun.

Right after that morning, I started thinkingback and realized that everytime I went to someone else's home, they always had few people there. I started looking at myself and wondering what I had done to offend others so that they didn't come. I quickly changed my attitude and thought process to "there must have been something happening that I didn't know about." There was, it was Meet the Teacher Day at the local pre-school, at the same time of mom's group. I later found this out when I started recieving emails and calls about why people were sorry that they couldn't make it. A few of them have told me that had it been the day before or after, they would have been able to make it.

I have always thought that I wasn't a judgemental person, but have come to realize the problem with that... I am. I just didn't let them know that I was judging them, so I thought that I wasn't judging.

All in all, I have thought lately about the wonder of Free Agency and the blessings it brings. It CAN bring heartache, but only if it is of our own allowance.

This is the pits!

Okay, so there are products out there that I really don't understand.

This is one of those things. I mean... come on! Do my armpits really need to be satin-y smooth. I shave everytime I shower, can't stand stubble...so aren't they smooth enough already? Who is going near my armpits anyway? Sure, Curt and the kids might, but they don't TOUCH my armpits. Because I have such an sweat problem in the first place (yes, I'm getting Botox for the pits) do I have to worry now about them not being silky smooth?????

The best product are Lil Swimmers. LOVE THEM. I remember when we used to go swimming with Aaron and Alyssa and their big, ugly friend the swollen diaper. Then we would have them wear rubber swimsuits only to have to change them with the unfortunate luck of "#2" in the pool but contained in the diaper. YUCK! Still seems unsanitary either way you venture, but Hayden has yet to grace us with this experience. What a good little boy.

So, now you tell me. What are the products out there that no one really should have wasted their time and money on? What is the best use of time and money to you????

Why I hate...

"Cliques" "Groups" or "Circle of Tightly woven friendships" what ever
you call them, our ward has one or two and it's very noticable.

(Let me start this by saying, that I have a nice social life outside the ward, and I do have some wonderful friends in the ward, but there are many ward members that don't have anyone to be around when there's a holiday/special occasion. My own family doesn't get together often and I feel as though my ward should be a "family" of a sort. There aren't supposed to be "favorites" and we need to be able to feel equal, we are in our Heavenly Father's eyes. )
My goal in life is to have as many people at my funeral as possible. How are we to know everyone if we stick to the favored few?

How many times have you been in the presence of these groups and were left out of the conversation because they just spent the weekend swimming, camping or BBQ-ing together.

How many times have you tried to plan a get together and everyone told you that they were too busy, so you spent it alone?

How many times have you sat next to someone you don't know and sat quiet and still until you saw someone you spend a lot of time with and ushered them over to chat about your own lives?

How many times have you met someone new, decided they weren't like you and never spoke to them again? (Differences build strenghths. Where your weakness lies, many others carry strength.)

People say that we have a "close" ward, but I disagree. Our ward has a tendency to be very self involved and individualistic. We don't think of people outside of our "group". There are very few that feel welcome and a lot that feel neglected. (They have more than made the effort, but not the right "connections"...)

I know that most of you hate these groups, but some of you don't mind because you are in one.

Every time that someone stands up and bears their testimony about what a great, friendly ward this is, I think... They were probably invited to join this little group a few times or had someone who cared if they came. I also know that for as many people who say they love the ward, there are those to say that they can't wait to leave it. These are people who were never in callings with the Relief Society Presidencies and/or counselors. They weren't in the Elders Quorum Presidency or the Bishopric. They aren't in the Ward Counsel Meetings... They aren't the popular or outgoing, but their testimonies are stronger than most.

I had a friend who once bravely stood up in our ward and pretty much told us that we don't need to form "little groups" and that our ward is made up of a whole bunch of "little groups". I agree! I have been watching and waiting for people to notice what is happening. When the subject is brought up, most people agree that there is a problem. Mostly, people feel ignored because there is no support. I feel ignored most of the time. When people need something from me, that's when I exist to them.

I counted on Sunday how many conversations someone started up with me. There were two people. AND it's not that I sit in the corner either, this is while walking in the halls!! I don't feel included but I do feel like I am interferring. I thought I was friends with some of them but am constantly reminded that I am NOT in their GROUP, just an observer.

Our ward has such a huge lack of attendance, and understand why so many people are so offended, that they have quit coming! I have known people who visit, but are completely ignored because they aren't the cute little blond and her strapping husband, but they have strong, solid testimonies.

For years, Visiting teachers have taught their best buddies. I haven't had an "IN" so I get the most obscure, hard to reach people and it is very frustrating to watch this "group" VT each other. Honestly, I don't have a testimony of VT anymore. I don't even know who myVTs are.

My testmony comes from the actual fact that this is Christ's Church upon the earth and from the scriptures. President Monson is a righteous leader and so are his counselors. I love and trust them. I know that there is a ward out there that will accept me for who I am, for my talents, my willingness to serve others and will acknowledge that I am a Child of God, an actual daughter that will inherit all that is offered to me. I do not come to church to socialize, but I feel that
being a member of the ward is something that should be done all the time, not just on Sunday or at ward activities. We have been here for 10 years, and have not felt like we belong for the last 3. We can't move, but we want to. And what's really sad, I don't think I could honestly say
"I would miss the ward". A very few people ~ yes. But not the ward.